In the Pacific Northwest we have a series of commercials that I think are better than the "Caveman" commercials. Pemco insurance has a series called "Northwest Profiles" that I can't help but watch. For example
Northwest Profile #45: 50 degrees shirt's off guy. Sun's out. Shirt's off. It's that simple. Sub-Arctic temperatures are no problem for this hardy native northwest species. Impervious to wind, icy-cold and blue extremities, you'll spot him any time of year, wherever opportunities for recreation are found.
or
Northwest Profile #76: The Super-Long Coffee Orderer. He's a man who knows what he wants out of life. And he doesn't mind making half the neighborhood wait while he gets it. Like a medieval alchemist, he guides the hapless barista through a winding labyrinth of seemingly incongrous ingredients and commands.Don't forget to leave the top off so he can put on his own sprinkles.
along with: Sandals and Socks Guy, Blue Tarp Campers, Roadside Chainsaw Woodcarver, Confused East-Coast Transplant....
At the end of the commercial they say something like "Marymoor Off- Leash Dog Lady, You're one of us!"
I was thinking about the rejected Northwest profiles. The ones that got turned down because they aren't as "P-C" as the other Northwest "types." And I've come up with a few NW profiles of my own. Hopefully you've seen or heard the commercials so you can imagine the announcer guy's voice and not mine.
Northwest profile #103: The Urban Camper. The open road is his companion. Home for him is wherever he parks his bike, or drops his knapsack, or pops up his 2 man tent. Everything he needs in life fits in his cargo pockets or on his back. The only insurance this guy needs is the kindness of strangers willing to give a ride or a few bucks for bus fare.
Northwest profile #117: Not a Milimeter Over 55 in the Left Lane Lady. You can find this person on I-5 right now in both the north and southbound lanes. She's the reason we need other moving violation options for our police. There won't be a speeding ticket in her lane! In fact the mear sight of constabulary forces changes the speed limit from 60 down to 55 or even 50.
I had to add this one.
Northwest profile #223: Self-righteous public breastfeeding Lady. She doesn't need a cover-up! Just flop it on out there. How dare you suggest she feed in private! It is a normal, natural and beautiful thing for a woman to give her child nourishment and the best start in life. (So what if he is 4 years old?) So stop staring at her breasts, pervert! "This isn't a peep-show!"
I've also added a few new profiles in the event that Pemco takes their business east to the Midwest, they'll have a head start.
Lawton, OK profile #23: Sheridan WalMart Shopper Girl. You can find her pulling into the parking lot just about now. She's proud as can be to wear her character print pajama pants and overstuffed character slippers with her not-quite-long-enough tank or tee! She rolls down the waistband of her jammys to show off her impressive PinK panty triangle. This girl won't be bothered with jeans and a tee! It's' only WalMart. Or CountryMart.
Lawton, OK profile #87: Confused New-in-Town Military Transplant. "What? You have 3 WalMarts? and I have to drive to Texas to go to Target?" "I heard you were getting an Olive Garden soon!" "I just don't think I can eat at a place called the Dry Beaver."
You can check out all the actual NW profiles on the Pemco website. They really are pretty funny. So enjoy.
Tamarama Out!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Getting Started
So, welcome to my blog and my life!
I've never blogged before but I am well versed in thinking and opining so I guess I fit the criteria. I'll introduce myself a little then.
I've never really been called "Red" by friends or family; mostly just random strangers, truck-drivers, and the occasional wedding videographer. But I do have red hair!
As it says in my profile I'm a military wife. My favorite story is the story of how we met.
I met my handsome hubby at Duvall's Southern Club in Lawton, OK. He was stationed at Ft. Sill and I was there to make arrangements for my Grandmother's funeral. My cousin and I had taken a break from the family to have a few drinks and catch-up. I'd spent many summers in Lawton with my family and I knew the racket. Soldiers are always looking for love, so when 3 of them walked over to introduce themselves to the 3 of us, I was prepared. He said, "What brings you to Lawton?" (What? How does he know I'm not a local? It's probably my hair) I said, "My grandma died." He was "very sorry to hear that," in the most sympathetic voice he could come up with. "Don't be" I said, "she was mean." "Oh." (yeah, take that! I can't be seduced so easily. And I've only had one drink!)
But he was persistent. He asked if I was seeing anyone and I explained that I was indeed living with a boyfriend back in Texas. He was a guitar playing artist and we had cats together. It was serious. This soldier was not in the least deterred. He spent the whole night telling me that he was about to be an officer in the United States Army and that he didn't see what this gay artist boyfriend had that he didn't. He was relentless! He even told me a story about his dog that he'd rescued in high school and was his loyal companion to this day! How cheesy and desperate. But he was pretty cute. All he wanted to do was take me to lunch the next day. So I finally gave in and let him have my number. The evening didn't end for me and my cousin when the bar closed though. She knew the band and we were up until 5 in the morning hanging out with them.
The next day, my phone rang at 8am. I was not impressed. But I made plans to have lunch after the funeral.
After our lunch date, my dad and I drove back to Texas. Two weeks later I lost my job. I was feeling pretty down and my boyfriend wasn't home yet at 7 pm. So I called my dad and asked him to cover for me and then I called the guy in Lawton and asked what he was doing for the weekend. I drove up and spent the weekend. Thanks to my little brother, my cell service was cancelled so I avoided some of the more unpleasant phone calls. On Sunday, I headed up to Nebraska to clear my head and visit my mom for a week. I made some decisions and a few phone calls and headed back south. I stopped in Lawton for the night then went on to Texas the next afternoon. I packed my things into my station wagon, said goodbye to my boyfriend, put my cat in the car and was back in Lawton by 2pm the following afternoon. I was able to move into my grandmother's recently vacated home.
Eleven months later we were married and had grown our family by 2 dogs and a second cat.
We've been married for 3 years now and are expecting our first son. I'm so exited to share this journey with Eddie!
Just as an aside, our last name is Edwards, Eddie is a nickname that my husband and his father before him received as a result of their occupations as servicemen.
So check back when you can and I'll do the same.
~Red~
I've never blogged before but I am well versed in thinking and opining so I guess I fit the criteria. I'll introduce myself a little then.
I've never really been called "Red" by friends or family; mostly just random strangers, truck-drivers, and the occasional wedding videographer. But I do have red hair!
As it says in my profile I'm a military wife. My favorite story is the story of how we met.
I met my handsome hubby at Duvall's Southern Club in Lawton, OK. He was stationed at Ft. Sill and I was there to make arrangements for my Grandmother's funeral. My cousin and I had taken a break from the family to have a few drinks and catch-up. I'd spent many summers in Lawton with my family and I knew the racket. Soldiers are always looking for love, so when 3 of them walked over to introduce themselves to the 3 of us, I was prepared. He said, "What brings you to Lawton?" (What? How does he know I'm not a local? It's probably my hair) I said, "My grandma died." He was "very sorry to hear that," in the most sympathetic voice he could come up with. "Don't be" I said, "she was mean." "Oh." (yeah, take that! I can't be seduced so easily. And I've only had one drink!)
But he was persistent. He asked if I was seeing anyone and I explained that I was indeed living with a boyfriend back in Texas. He was a guitar playing artist and we had cats together. It was serious. This soldier was not in the least deterred. He spent the whole night telling me that he was about to be an officer in the United States Army and that he didn't see what this gay artist boyfriend had that he didn't. He was relentless! He even told me a story about his dog that he'd rescued in high school and was his loyal companion to this day! How cheesy and desperate. But he was pretty cute. All he wanted to do was take me to lunch the next day. So I finally gave in and let him have my number. The evening didn't end for me and my cousin when the bar closed though. She knew the band and we were up until 5 in the morning hanging out with them.
The next day, my phone rang at 8am. I was not impressed. But I made plans to have lunch after the funeral.
After our lunch date, my dad and I drove back to Texas. Two weeks later I lost my job. I was feeling pretty down and my boyfriend wasn't home yet at 7 pm. So I called my dad and asked him to cover for me and then I called the guy in Lawton and asked what he was doing for the weekend. I drove up and spent the weekend. Thanks to my little brother, my cell service was cancelled so I avoided some of the more unpleasant phone calls. On Sunday, I headed up to Nebraska to clear my head and visit my mom for a week. I made some decisions and a few phone calls and headed back south. I stopped in Lawton for the night then went on to Texas the next afternoon. I packed my things into my station wagon, said goodbye to my boyfriend, put my cat in the car and was back in Lawton by 2pm the following afternoon. I was able to move into my grandmother's recently vacated home.
Eleven months later we were married and had grown our family by 2 dogs and a second cat.
We've been married for 3 years now and are expecting our first son. I'm so exited to share this journey with Eddie!
Just as an aside, our last name is Edwards, Eddie is a nickname that my husband and his father before him received as a result of their occupations as servicemen.
So check back when you can and I'll do the same.
~Red~
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