Ode to Pemco

In the Pacific Northwest we have a series of commercials that I think are better than the "Caveman" commercials. Pemco insurance has a series called "Northwest Profiles" that I can't help but watch. For example
Northwest Profile #45: 50 degrees shirt's off guy. Sun's out. Shirt's off. It's that simple. Sub-Arctic temperatures are no problem for this hardy native northwest species. Impervious to wind, icy-cold and blue extremities, you'll spot him any time of year, wherever opportunities for recreation are found.
or
Northwest Profile #76: The Super-Long Coffee Orderer. He's a man who knows what he wants out of life. And he doesn't mind making half the neighborhood wait while he gets it. Like a medieval alchemist, he guides the hapless barista through a winding labyrinth of seemingly incongrous ingredients and commands.Don't forget to leave the top off so he can put on his own sprinkles.

along with: Sandals and Socks Guy, Blue Tarp Campers, Roadside Chainsaw Woodcarver, Confused East-Coast Transplant....

At the end of the commercial they say something like "Marymoor Off- Leash Dog Lady, You're one of us!"
I was thinking about the rejected Northwest profiles. The ones that got turned down because they aren't as "P-C" as the other Northwest "types." And I've come up with a few NW profiles of my own. Hopefully you've seen or heard the commercials so you can imagine the announcer guy's voice and not mine.

Northwest profile #103: The Urban Camper. The open road is his companion. Home for him is wherever he parks his bike, or drops his knapsack, or pops up his 2 man tent. Everything he needs in life fits in his cargo pockets or on his back. The only insurance this guy needs is the kindness of strangers willing to give a ride or a few bucks for bus fare.

Northwest profile #117: Not a Milimeter Over 55 in the Left Lane Lady. You can find this person on I-5 right now in both the north and southbound lanes. She's the reason we need other moving violation options for our police. There won't be a speeding ticket in her lane! In fact the mear sight of constabulary forces changes the speed limit from 60 down to 55 or even 50.

I had to add this one.

Northwest profile #223: Self-righteous public breastfeeding Lady. She doesn't need a cover-up! Just flop it on out there. How dare you suggest she feed in private! It is a normal, natural and beautiful thing for a woman to give her child nourishment and the best start in life. (So what if he is 4 years old?) So stop staring at her breasts, pervert! "This isn't a peep-show!"

I've also added a few new profiles in the event that Pemco takes their business east to the Midwest, they'll have a head start.

Lawton, OK profile #23: Sheridan WalMart Shopper Girl. You can find her pulling into the parking lot just about now. She's proud as can be to wear her character print pajama pants and overstuffed character slippers with her not-quite-long-enough tank or tee! She rolls down the waistband of her jammys to show off her impressive PinK panty triangle. This girl won't be bothered with jeans and a tee! It's' only WalMart. Or CountryMart.

Lawton, OK profile #87: Confused New-in-Town Military Transplant. "What? You have 3 WalMarts? and I have to drive to Texas to go to Target?" "I heard you were getting an Olive Garden soon!" "I just don't think I can eat at a place called the Dry Beaver."

You can check out all the actual NW profiles on the Pemco website. They really are pretty funny. So enjoy.
Tamarama Out!